The Three Stencils

Satisfy letter

that numerous of the queries

amid the three groups

remain indistinguishable,

consequently texture

allowed to a reproduction suitable

replies after unique pattern

to additional.

I touch similar, solitary

of the attendees

stroked subsequently successful

to the Stick Salon….

I must.

Supplementary interrogations

Currently:  than earlier

I heeded to the tune.

Gratify, too.

Reflect that changing gen

cutting-edge single master

might permit an alteration

in the extra three stencils

meanwhile inquiries are indistinguishable.

In certain examples,

a novel answer is necessary

aimed at all models

founded on the many

crops’ future.

The request and response

codicils consumes

not hitherto remained dispatched,

nonetheless once it is obtainable

I, determination, onward

It is happening to completely derive now.

I took the choice of presence

in the MP chamber,

I would, for I reason

nearby strength stand

stimulating commentaries,

visions,

demands… etc

as of further attendees.

One too many dirty dishcloths

Life.  Hard.  Harder.  Endure.
Fight, worry about money, worry about closing, losing.
Health, effect, effect on you, on me, on him, on us.
Rarely as a family.
Which bills to pay.
Fear of disappointing owing legal accounting tax employees opportunities at
Late nights - job, business, constant lack of sleep.

Grieving, but never really grieving.

It could be
Lack of exercise   Lack of personal happiness.  Negative self image.  Hormonal imbalance.
Too much work, too much work, too much work.
Dirty clothes,
dirty dishes,
dirty dishcloths, coats, aprons.

Dirty mouth.
"Stop."  A four letter word.  A dirty one.

Deteriorating relationships, confidence, motivation.
Our ticket to success or complete ruin.  One or the other.
When will it change...  When will it end...

No light at the end of the tunnel.
Just an endless tunnel.
Deeper and deeper into the depths.
My canary is about to die.

Cat Piss

My dad is like
our beloved lime tree
that died last year

ready to do wonderful things
it had always planned to do
was meant to do
build things -
limes or furniture -
does the output really matter?

a flower for the first time
one year earlier

a completed children's story
submitted to publishers

none of it matters when
you're dead
unless someone else
carries on

i guess cat piss isn't
the best analogy for
cancer
but then again
maybe it is

Fixed Food License

investors, and build outs and late nights, oh my!
reality still feels unreal, like someone i'll never see again

health inspections and construction and r&d for products
itching for it to be over before it even begins

investment in futures
our children's futures
dreamed big but rarely
now's the time

and this is our one chance.
failure is not an option.
go big or go home.
insert cliche here.

i sit here
stare at the monitor
watch his little fingers move
think about the day

take him on trips
add a playroom
visit the arcadia house we build
send him to study abroad
pay for his college
encourage his many endeavors

and, eventually,
teach him about our business.

10 days
we'll know
not how big or how successful
IF it works, HOW it works
an idea what our lives will be

of course i'm scared
weekends tied to the business
no more family time
making ends meet
liability and reputation
employees to trust with our livelihood
levels of stress
amounts in bank accounts

scared of no net, no break, no backup plan.

but i'm excited.

Placeholder for 2011

in 2011 we

bought a house
fixed up a house to rent
had a baby
found out dad had cancer
quit a job
lost a job
started a business
went to vegas

had no time to write poetry

American Dream

You hear good things
Decide, right then, that minute,
purchase it. The dream

Used to mean impulsive,
These days
I typically,
at that given moment, buy
and then have it shipped
As a gift to myself
Right to my city
Down the block

These plans are all well and good
until an indefinite backorder
That's the way it works, duh.
I drove to my first instinct.
Assessed next typical avenue
ordered a pre-approval and it tells me,
this is backordered, are you sure?

And I say, well, no
I guess I'll find it elsewhere
Cancel my order a few days
unavailable
Find a random little solution
Order it from there
A couple days later,
we'll refund your money.

Time is running out
I need this dream asap.
Aware shipping time is not my friend,
checked today
I gave in.

Didn’t want to buy a damn substitution
Fake solution
Shadow of a dream
A home from the dollar-bin
But I gave in.

Then you ask, what's so bad about
What you already have?
A strong impetus towards architecture.
Physical comfort.
Home.

I want a library one day.
Memories hiding under the covers
A smell and feel.
Care that goes into decorating
Organizing closets
Walls large enough to hold wedding photos
Dropping salts into the whirlpool bathtub
Sleeping with cats all night.

Wait. That’s becoming what I already have
Near the neighborhood used bookstore
With 770 square feet
One bath
No closets

The dream is pretty much these things.
The format leaves MUCH to be desired.
The pictures on the wall out of alignment
Typos, corrections, liens and debts interfere.
It could be because
I want better for them -
them who are only DNA for now -
regardless of the medium.

Never puttin it all out there

10:15 AM
The ax falls
The commercial phone cord entwines my fingers
hair on my neck stands up
pulled toward the outside, freedom

Jumping jacks
face the facts
fat forever, thin within
This isn't the life I was supposed to be in

4:30 PM
An error occurs
Keyboard strokes click pain to my eardrum
Start over and hope for better results
Press save twice, three times

Jumping jacks
face the facts
fat forever, thin within
This isn't the life I was supposed to be in

9:20 AM
Couched meaning
A stack of papers and impending papercuts
Highlighting details, my favorite word
Again and Again and Again

Jumping jacks
face the facts
fat forever, thin within
This isn't the life I was supposed to be in

7:40 PM
Sneaky search
Best foot forward on a slow laptop
Maybe someday...
That's all I can say

Jumping jacks
face the facts
fat forever, thin within
This isn't the life I was supposed to be in