Shower

I remove my underwear
Step into the bathtub without
Turning on the water
Pass judgment on the grout
And cracked ceiling tiles
Showered in remorse, suds
My hair with memories
Your touch washes over my
Thigh and I wonder what
You ponder -- do you sit in
Your bath curling your
Toes around the faucet?
Thinking of me? Caress
The waxiness of soap bar
In the tray with my knee
The rubber band entangling
My hair caught by my
Fingers, pull, loosen my
Mind, loosen my grip on
The porcelain to slide down
Toes on the faucet until
Cold water begins to cover
My body -- wash you away.
May 29, 2001

Satisfied

Peripheral vision shrivels each time
I look at you
Appreciate the paucity of longing
For another
And beat my fists against no
Further doors
Paperbag syndrome for no one
But you
Prefer you without it anyway
To overlook and undress
For you
To downplay and upbraid
Your insecurities
Secure
Happy
As I'll ever be
May 24, 2001

I do

Flawed, like the half carat he nudged toward me
In the restaurant across town
And blistered like the woman's collagen-swollen lips
At the salon that painted my nails
With a French manicure and fake expense,
I found my future.
My dress from Penny's where I splurged on plastic pearls
For my hungry neck.
I'll walk down the aisle to him,
The cheapest example of true love.
May 21, 2001