Tuning Quinn - my (first) complete novel!

Hi all! Hopefully none of you think I'm completely nuts (I may be...) but I would like to start posting chapters of the (rough draft) of the young adult novel I just finished. I would love it if anyone is interested in reading it, and better yet giving me feedback... hopefully you actually ENJOY it. :)

Here it is: http://tuningquinn.blogspot.com/

After the coma

Give me a quick tipsy hug
Tell me I'll be right here
if you need help
Four hands are better than two
Two heads are better than one
Whatever the math is
She giggled as I kissed her cheek
Left her there watching the lake

Drive to hospital forever
Even with glass of wine
in my veins
Nerves like an old sweater,
unravelling at the edges
headache coming on
I pull to side of highway
Focus on mounting pain

No, not a vision headache
My temple didn't ache
and it just didn't seem epic enough
Psyching myself out
Letting the stress get to me

You can handle this
She's going to be fine

I popped a couple aspirin
from gracious glove compartment
pulled back on to the road
Almost couldn't believe I made it
Without throwing up

Lyrics Fated

Lyrics fated to watch me burn
All skin peeled back from my fingers
Write feverish prose like an intern
6 months of fabled progress
31 years of pooled thought
It all pours through to try to impress
Although me is whose mind I've caught
Lackluster the words stand
to have some side
Or ferocious the words hang
upon my pride
Project declared to give point to existence
The words in my possession sour
if I cannot find time, lack persistance,
let them all fade away

Your Move

Totally dormant or
active influence bright
useless vow of
backward beautiful things

no sobs furtive, a personal plea
mind-set childish as i flush happy
with delicate cheer
undefeated, hopeful, upbeat, clear
my brief twinge of bravery
but silent i freaked, rationale just slavery
obsessed, i choose mentally, no more drama

worry rationally desperate, expectant
nonchalance amusing until i relaxed
instinctively with vigor of the paradox
pent up naughtiness
the miniscule decision to hurry us
i become tenaciously reliant
obviously on the environment
the system is a mockery
silly crazy improperly
inspired until infuriatingly
i can focus

it's like the time when i lost my shoe

[being an English Lit major] i'm pretty sure my most favorite form of expression is analogy.

Wedding Accessories

I laid face down
under influence of
ibuprofen and Xanax
needle puncturing my body
at 140 per second
gripping paper covered vinyl
prepare for the big day
match my flesh to my dress
share pain, artistic expression,
permanency
our life. our tattoos.

Waste into less

Her fractious grin won his heart in 2 beats
he jumped on her bandwagon,
watched her throw
punches in the cafeteria,
her 1987 Porsche into gear

he dropped anonymous bombast
through vents in her locker sporadically
viewed their situation like a rom com:
eventually she would realize
he had been there all along

egregious behavior only drew him in
lip glossed cigarette butt bouncing
off his tennis shoe
as she passed him near the art building
flirtatious laugh aimed at the world
her slim build wasting into less
hazel eyes sinking deeper

showering after P.E. he heard
football players describe her in detail
underclassmen whispered
jealous remarks in the hall
her outbursts growing less frequent

by senior year he didn't see her every day
her sweaters perpetually looser,
fingers fragile, crooked with effort
futile curl of the lip to prove
she was still as strong

then one day she no longer sat throwing
pebbles onto the track after school,
texting her latest conquest,
leaving tire marks in the parking lot
she simply disappeared

she had been evaporating for years
and no one noticed but him