Hunger

I'm remembering the third year
My third summer
Another third summer after the beginning
But I ponder why this should repeat
Fear of sustenance
Of myself
Of others
Especially the good ones
The kind ones who care
The kind who watch me
Dissevering their glare

pondering three

acceptable because I don't affect anyone but myself
sell my face on the market of Saturday night
hiding everything else
fake identity and fake pride
counterfeit smile to feign content
jokes to set aside
the doubt and the anger
laced with smeared mascara
and an elbow in the cheek

pondering the third
July 28, 1999