I'm suffocating as I'm sitting here
And she just walked upstairs to find
You because you called to her.
I want you to call to me and not
Leave the country or my heart
Behind because a part of me
Really likes the dislocating spiral
Your desperate, deliberate, difficulty
Sent me down. Without warning
And after denial and before I
Could disagree or displace it all
And now its gone anyway. I felt
It last night, and the day before.
Usually that's what happens when
There was nothing there to begin with
Except for lust and loneliness.
Dec. 15, 99
Wednesday, December 15, 1999
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